“Aslan is a lion- the Lion, the great Lion.” “Ooh” said Susan. “I’d thought he was a man. Is he-quite safe? I shall feel rather nervous about meeting a lion”…”Safe?” said Mr Beaver …”Who said anything about safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the King, I tell you.” (The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe, CS Lewis)
This quote has been swirling in my head a lot recently, as I begin to think about what this next year looks like.
I spent some much-needed time with a dear friend today– after being surrounded by awesome co-workers and roommates (who are ALSO awesome co-workers), I was so thankful for some time away with a friend who already knows and loves me well. We talked about the upcoming year and all it entails in detail for the both of us; we were on the way back to my house when she asked me, “do you feel at peace about it?” As in, do I feel at peace about this new crazy life change: new job, new roommates/co-workers, new slightly-different career path (at least for the year).
Yes. Yes, I really do.
Truly, I haven’t felt so at peace about something in a lonnnnng time.
Because I know that this is exactly where I am meant to be.
Am I worried about next week when we meet kids for the 1st time? Definitely.
Am I anxious about doing a good job, living up to the standards of my workplace? (plus my own ridiculously high standards) Absolutely.
Am I overwhelmed with information and unsure how to unpack it all before Monday? You betcha!
Am I totally scared of the future year and what is going to unfold? Pretty much!
(I was then reminded that of course these feelings are 100% normal before this kind of life-change! duh!)
But am I at peace about this year and what all it’s going to hold? 110%. Without a shadow of a doubt.
Despite all the worries and fears about what this year is going to hold, I am at nothing but peace. Why? Because I know that this is where God has placed me right now. I know this is what I’m meant to be doing. And that gives me peace beyond all understanding, beyond all fear.
God isn’t meant to be safe. And neither are his plans for me.
This year is going to be hard– we’ve heard it from multiple different people, in multiple different ways. Hard. Not easy. Difficult. Fun, yes, life-changing, yes, but easy? Nope.
It requires a lot of me. It makes it impossible not to bow at the throne of grace and ask for it openly and often, because Lordy am I going to need it when I inevitably screw up.
It’s forcing me to accept the fact that I cannot do this year (or this day, or this hour) on my own– it’s only through His strength am I equipped for what He’s going to do this year.
It’s making me have to think about my boundaries, my helper, got-to-fix-everyone tendencies, and my people-pleasing, everything-has-to-be-perfect standards. I’m going to have to learn how to let my standards go, help those that want to be helped and give the rest up to the Lord because I am not superwoman or everyone’s keeper (even when I want to be), give myself grace when things go awry or when I need a break, and lean on other people for help and criticism and guidance down this road, cause I cannot do it on my own (i’m really bad at this part).
It requires me to love myself and people I work with and for very well, even when I don’t feel like it.
It’s going to leave me exhausted in every sense of the word some days. Some days I’ll be filled up, some days I’ll be running on fumes, barely scraping by. I know that.
And this is all from the first two weeks, y’all. I haven’t even met my kids yet! And it’s already causing me to think through the way I do and am going to do things this year. That gives me hope that this really is going to be life-changing, no matter how hard.
There is nothing safe about this year. Nothing safe about taking a leap of faith into this year of pouring into these kids we get to serve and teach, into each other as co-workers and roommates, into our supervisors and other co-workers– there is nothing safe about diving in head first into the unknown.
There’s nothing safe about God and the road he’s called me on with this internship. But it’s good.
It’s so, so good.
It isn’t safe. It isn’t easy. It’s a little bit scary and already slightly exhausting.
He isn’t safe. His plans aren’t easy. His ways are somewhat terrifying and overwhelmingly exhausting, especially when I want my way.
But it’s good. But He’s good.
Is he safe? ‘Course He isn’t safe. But He’s good. He’s the King, I tell you.
God and his plans sure aren’t safe. But they’re full of Him, and that means that they are immeasurably good. And that gives me more peace than I could have ever imagined.
I couldn’t find a clip of the scene on youtube, so here’s my favorite song from the Narnia franchise! (brought to you by my beloved Switchfoot)