31 Days | day 25 {crash}

Today’s prompt: crash.

Then You crash over me and I’ve lost control but I’m free
I’m going under, I’m in over my head
And You crash over me, I’m where You want me to be
I’m going under, I’m in over my head
Whether I sink, whether I swim
It makes no difference when I’m beautifully in over my head

It makes no difference when I’m beautifully in over my head. I just love that line.

Lately I feel like life has been crashing around me. School, plans, mental health, home life. I’d gotten so wrapped up in my future plans, the plans I had devised for myself, that I’d stopped paying attention to what He was saying. He noticed.

So He crashed my life. He forced His way back in. Not in a way I wanted him to. But in a way I needed Him to.

He used those hellish, life-shattering moments of the past few months to find Him again. He used the tears and the grief to point me back to where my heart belongs: back to Him.

God has a tendency to wake us up when we need it. Not with a mere tap on the shoulder, or a whisper in the ear.

Sometimes, he wakes us up with a crash. A life-altering moment. A change in direction. A moment where we really, truly see how much we need Him.

So He crashes. He tears the walls and boxes we’ve made down. And he wrecks our lives up.

He sure did wreck mine up. And it’s been hard. It’s not been this beautiful worshipful moment. It’s been hell. It’s almost taken me under the depths a few times.

But it’s made me realize how much I need him to be the guide– not me. Because when I plan, it all goes to hell in a handbasket.

So he crashes into me, hard and fast and swift. He pulls me away from where I want to be, where my constructs and plans and wants are, and he pulls me towards where he wants me to be. Even if I don’t know exactly where that is yet, I know it’ll be better than where I was.

He crashes over me. He pulls me over my head– over what I want, back into the rhythms of grace. Back where I’m meant to be, even if it’s not where I want to be.

In the moments that drastically change us– the ones that stop our lives dead in our tracks– those are the moments where He is crashing into us, forcing us back into the plans He has for us. The moments where we don’t feel God or don’t understand– those are the moments that He’s leading us in over our heads. It’s scary, but it’s worth it.

He’s worth the crash.