today was not my favorite day.
My emotions were scattered about leaving and saying goodbye (that’s a post for later); I was stressed out from moving out of the dorm; my mom was being her typical drama queen self- stressful days bring out the WORST in my mother.
I left the dorm in tears. I cried from stress of move out day in front of a friend (I hate crying in front of people), I cried hugging friends goodbye, and I cried leaving the dorm and as we headed home. That’s a 40 minute car ride of tears (and they didn’t stop there, either).
I was an overly emotional hot mess today. It’s ok to be that sometimes, I’m learning. But I’m not writing about all that (at least today).
Today we were almost at the interstate, stopped at a red light. I was crying silently; my mom was ignoring me per usual when she’s pissed off and being dramatic. It was quiet, minus the radio playing.
I looked out the window and saw a bird sitting on the sidewalk. It was a dark purple and hazel green, shiny with spots.
I wasn’t thinking straight enough to get a picture, but it looked something like this:
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| The colors were a little darker, and the spots were white-ish– but otherwise spot on. |
I was mesmerized.
We were only at that light for another minute or two, but I watched it that whole time. It was breathtakingly beautiful. I’m not even much of a bird person (I’ve read/watched The Birds too many times- they kinda terrifying).
But there was something extraordinary about this little bird that kept me watching.
Purple is my favorite color. There’s something comforting, peaceful about purple. My favorite blanket is purple, my school’s color is purple, so many of my favorite things happen to be purple. It makes me happy.
That bird brought a sense of comfort nothing else could have to a truly miserable day. I don’t know why. It just did. I felt okay after that. Not better, but okay– and that’s all I needed.
I believe that God doesn’t just work in big, grandiose motions. I think He works in the minute details of the day… the smallest things hold the biggest revelations. We just have pay attention and notice.
I don’t think He always is going to send us these elaborate thoughts or messages either. I’m not expecting a burning bush anytime soon. I just want a nudge, a whisper, something to let me know I’m okay and He’s with me. I think He does that the most in the simplest, most ordinary things. The sunrise and sunset, giggles and laughter, kind words from a friend– all simple daily things we see/hear that just remind me that He is good– and so am I.
And sometimes, He sends a little sign to say something as simple as it’s going to be okay. And that sign happens to be something as ordinary as a bird with beautiful feathers.
I’m okay. I’m going to be okay.
Thank God for the little moments to remind me of that fact.