Happy FMF! Still battling this blasted sinus/ear infection of doom. I will never understand how my pain can be bearable all day long, yet at night, my head/ear just throbs in pain. Not even when I’m trying to sleep, just at nighttime in general. But when I DO try to sleep, I’m up every two hours in pain.Thus why I’m up writing this at 2:30 am. Hopefully, a doctor visit on Monday will give me some relief… and help me sleep. I miss sleep.
This week’s word:
One thing I've been thinking about lately is the fact that while I am an adult, I don't always feel like one. Scratch that. I never feel like one. I have to step back and remind myself I am an adult most of the time. Click To Tweet
Last year at my internship, when a student asked a question I’d usually say I’d ask an adult… then quickly realize I was the adult in charge. Awesome.
I don’t feel like I have a life that reflects my adulthood, at least compared to other adults my age. I live at home with my mom. I don’t have a career and am still trying to figure out what kind of job I’d like to actually pursue instead of doing a dozen odd jobs for little money. I don’t own anything–not even a credit card. Despite being less than 4 years away from turning 30 (!!), I don’t feel like I’ve hit any of the adult goals/markers of adulthood, if that makes sense. I feel like I’m behind others my age (or younger!)– I see friends getting married, pursuing graduate work/dream jobs, having kids (or fur kids), buying cars and houses and the like… and here I am, in my mom’s spare room. My only source of income this week is babysitting. I don’t even have a driver’s license, for Christ’s sake.
I feel a tinge of jealousy in this, truthfully. But mostly, I just want to feel more settled. I don’t necessarily want what others have– but I want what I need to succeed as an adult. I want to feel more settled in my 25-year-old skin, instead of feeling like a teenager (or a toddler, depending on the day and my mom’s behavior).
Right now, the things I think I need in that respect include a career (or potentially grad school? I DON’T KNOW!), a license, and a place to live that is not a few feet away from my mother.
I don't want what everyone else has. I just want to be settled in who I am, so I can attain the things I want. Click To Tweet
I just need to figure out what those things are.
Adult friends, when did you feel like an adult? How did you settle into adulthood, what did that look like for you? I NEED WISDOM. Click To Tweet
This has nothing to do with the topic, but found it fitting being Easter weekend.