It’s Five Minute Friday Time! 5 minutes, no editing, revising, or overthinking–just write! To learn more and join us yourself, check it out here: Five Minute Friday.
This week’s prompt is:
Find.
GO.
Ask and it shall be given to you; seek and you will find.
Earlier this week I wrote a post about finding my lost teaching confidence. (life is ironic sometimes).
Now instead of finding confidence, I’m seeking out answers. trying to find what I’m going to do.
Am I going to stay the course (despite being miserable and in tears practically EVERY day so far?)
Am I going to drop education (my life-long dream) and pursue something I don’t even know yet?
Am I going to postpone everything and just breathe for awhile so I can figure my life out?
I don’t know.
I met with my education professors yesterday; they suggested taking the rest of this week off to regroup, think, decide my plans.
I’m trying. But I’m not finding anything out yet. After 1 day, I’m already overwhelmed with this desicion (it’s not exactly a tiny one, either). Do I stay and be miserable? Do I try and discover something else I’m supposed to do? I’m trying so hard to figure this out before time forces me to choose something…
I’m searching, researching, questioning, debating, (over)thinking… but I’m not finding anything yet.
STOP.
Oh, Jordon! I’m sorry you’re having a miserable experience. Those student teaching days can be so hard–especially when you’re not much older than the students or look young. Have you read “The First Day of School” by Harry and Rosemary Wong? That book has been a lifesaver for me over the years. You CAN do this. Don’t stop now. Praying for you, my friend!
Thanks Anita! We read portions of it in my education classes. Honestly, I’m just not sure if teaching in a classroom is for me at the moment. It’s too overwhelming for me, and I’ve stopped loving teaching. I’m thinking and praying over all my options before I decide, though. Thanks for your prayers, my friend!! 🙂 🙂
Oh Jordan, my heart years to reach out and give you a big hug. I know what it’s like to be in that stage in college and want to have it all together but feel like life is falling apart. It’s a hard place to be in, but I’ve found that that is the very best place to learn hard dependence on God. I’m sorry you’re going through it, but I hope that you will find a place of quiet comfort and stillness in His presence this weekend!
I was a teacher, before I became too ill…and it was a struggle, every single day, for years. I had to grind it out, and it never felt natural.
And then one day it did.
Please try to hang in there; the harder it is at first, the more of your heart you have to invest, and the more you will earn, inch by bloody inch, the title and the honour.
Here from FMF – I am #9
Jordan, I’m going to say a prayer for you tonight. It is so hard to make those decisions. God is with you and knows what is best for you. I’ll pray for you to find some clarity this week.
I feel for you. Rest. Take a break from it all. Pray. The answer will come to you in a flash of ‘knowing’; you just need to clear your mind for your mind to be able to do it’s work. [LOVE the quote on your header…..]
Hey Jordan, thanks for your honesty! I am in the same situation and many thoughts ring a bell. You lose the joy for your profession over the work. I guess every transition into work life and fitting into this new system is hard. But it’s a transition and if we allow ourselves the time to settle we’ll settle eventually. It might take a while and a lot of patience, but press on! Seek the small things you still enjoy. Endure the hard things and grow. Teaching can be rewarding even though it takes a while to find these little rewards. Happy Friday and rich blessings your way!
Jordan- I’m so sorry you are in such a season of uncertainty. I know that can be very painful and unsettling. As a teacher, I know the struggle. It’s often humbling, frustrating, lonely, and downright exhausting. May God give you clarity and peace, friend. Thanks for sharing your post. I’ll be praying…
[…] professors gave me a 3 day break from student teaching to gather my bearings and try to see if I could re-start my placement after […]