Disclosure: my laptop got stolen/ went missing this past weekend, so I’m writing on my phone. This’ll probably be longer than 5 minutes for that reason 🙂
The word this week is: haven. Hmm. Interesting!
When I first thought about this word, My first thought was the song/Psalm: better is one day in Your courts, better is one day in Your house, better is one day in your courts than 1000 elsewhere.
When I first heard this song in youth group in middle school, I kind of thought it was about church: not to the church, but the church I went to. The church was the first place I really ever felt at home, so I thought this was about church itself as being better than any other place. I thought that the song was more about going to church and doing things at the church, you see.
This got hard when depression (and eventually anxiety) hit: the church didn’t feel all that safe. It felt like a group of perfect people that couldn’t understand my brokenness. While no one directly caused this, it was just how it felt: everyone seemed like they had their lives altogether, and I was in the dark, lonely and terrified to say anything for fear of sticking out like a sore thumb.
So I quit going. I didn’t want to feel like that: the haven I’d created suddenly didn’t feel so haven-like. (I actually have a post about this topic in my drafts, but am waiting till i get a new computer cause writing this dang post one word at a time is driving me crazy!!)
But Now I know: it’s not the church that’s my safe haven: it’s God himself.
He is my safety.
He is where I should go when I am lost.
He is my sanctuary.
He’s my haven. My protection.
He’s my savior: the one who will save me from myself.
It’s not about the place. Or the people in the place. It’s about Him.
Because it’s stuck in my head now…
yes Jordan. It is hard for me to not trust in people to be my haven. Its hard to remember that we are all fallen humanity and some have hurt others more than they have helped in the healing. but yes, cling to HIM. He will be faithful, he loves you, he is all He promises that He is. love you sister.
Amen! God is indeed our haven. Beautiful post friend! I’m in the #8 spot this week.
Well, Jordan, now it’s stuck in MY head as well! But it’s a beautiful song to go along with a lovely post.
Great song. Great post! Love how you connected the two. Yes, He’s our haven. So thankful we have that in common. So thankful we have Him in common. Bless you, friend. Glad you continue to share who you are!