I’m back. Barely. The first few weeks of September have been… hazy. My mental health hasn’t been kind (Not that it’s ever kind), but it’s been even worse than normal thanks to a host of things, but namely a migraine med switch that lists depression as a dang side effect. That’s one way to send a depressed person spiraling down: give them a med that makes them more depressed! Sigh. I have been weaned off the med (PTL) and will deal with the migraines for now. Because i’d rather a migraine cause my head to hurt than depression cause me more hurt.
ANYWHO. This week’s word:
This one took me a couple minutes before I finally said screw it, hit the timer and just word vomited. You’re welcome!
support. What does it look like to support someone?
Show up. That’s it, y’all. Show up.
Don’t feel like you have to have all the answers.
Don’t feel like you have to fix everything.
Don’t act like nothing is wrong or everything is perfect if it’s not.
Sit. Listen. Talk. Pray. Hug. Cry if you need. Laugh if you want.
Support isn’t hard. Being a part of support groups like ACA (adult child anonymous/adult child of alcoholics) was one of my favorite communities– because it was real. And we supported each other. Not by fixing or trying to make it better. But by just being there.
I love that one of the definitions of support is to “hold up.” Because that’s what we need: we need to hold each other up, because sometimes, when we’re down for the count, we can’t hold ourselves up anymore.
In this season of crazy depression and stress and in-between, I’ve felt like my in-person support has been null and void. Not because of them at all- they’ve always been there. But because of me, and the fact that depression makes me distance myself and makes it hard to open up and talk about anything. It lies and says I’m a burden so I just shut myself off and fend for myself.
But when things got hazy the past couple weeks (aka when things got epically worse thanks to the migraine med with increased depression as a SIDE EFFECT), my support system showed up. They texted. They commented. They prayed. They shared. They listened.
When I finally got the courage to ignore the depression that said I was a burden and ask a friend to go to dinner with me (the first time I’d left the house for something fun with friends since my birthday– 2 months ago!) she (and another friend) immediately said yes. And it was good. And so needed for my tired, sad, and lonely soul.
My people, the ones that have felt distant lately because depression forces me to keep them at an arm’s reach. They held me up. And I’m so grateful.
I discovered this song (and this whole awesome album) this week and OMG WHERE HAS IT BEEN THIS WHOLE SEASON.
5 thoughts on “support (five minute friday)”
Awww, Jordan. I’m sorry it’s been so hard for you. Meds are a double whammy sometimes. I’m glad you’re off the one that made everything hazy. And I loved this post. You’re right. Support is so much about simply showing up and being in the moment with our people. Great post tonight! I’ll pray for you tonight.
I’m showing up friend!
Jordan, this is brilliant. Support IS just being there, at the foot of someone else’s cross.
And I hear you on the meds. One reason I can’t take narcotic pain meds is that they make my PTSD symptoms way worse. The pain is better.
Love you dear brave heart!
Oh, Lord, help me to be more supportive–to just show up and quit trying to ‘fix’ things!
Truth! What happens when support doesn’t show up? We collapse. Great post. Praying you are able to find relief for your migraines.
I’m at #53 in FMF.