Hii. Wasn’t too chatty at fmfparty tonight. Tired and not in a social mood. This week has felt long yet I’ve barely left my house. Don’t know how that happened.
This week’s word:
I’ve always had this innate longing to belong. To be accepted just as I am by the people around me. For the longest time, I thought the way to do this was to make people happy– this stems from childhood trauma that i won’t go into, but essentially if I didn’t get straight As, or wasn’t perfect for my family, I felt like I failed. Thus my life-long struggle to be perfect, to be the shiny version of myself, to try to please everyone because that was what would make them love me began. When in my heart of hearts I wanted someone, anyone, to see me as I am and accept me for it– no strings attached, no prerequisites or goals to meet to be loved.
When in my heart of hearts I wanted someone, anyone, to see me as I am and accept me for it– no strings attached, no prerequisites or goals to meet to be loved.
I’ve been on the launch team for the book Dance Stand Run by Jess Connolly, and y’all, it is good. It is about grace and holiness and mission and you are going to want it in your hands when it comes out. I really think it’ll change the world.
In the first chapter, she talks a bit about belonging. This quote caught me in my throat:
“I don’t want to ask other humans to fill up the gaps in my soul. Rather, I want to be
taking the soul answer to them: Jesus. If we’re going to change the world and stop being changed by it, we’re going to have to acknowledge that we already belong, we already have a place, and we’re already accepted. Not by humans or community or the kind gals we do life with, but by Jesus.”
I don’t have to be accepted by people (even if I want to be so badly). I don’t have to please everybody by trying to be it all, do it all.
I don’t have to act like I have it all together when He already does.
i’m already accepted. My seat’s already saved. I’m welcomed, loved, adored for the person I am, not the shiny version of myself I try to put out there with people.
No need to be accepted by the world when we’re accepted by the God of the universe.
Right?
As much as I want people to love me, I don’t want other humans to fill up the gaps in my soul. I want to know and believe I’m accepted by the one who loves my soul and let that be my entryway into relationship with people. I still struggle with my yearning to belong, but I’m working on remembering to whom I already belong first.
Because acceptance when it’s from the world isn’t anything when it comes to the acceptance we already have in Him.
(this took longer than five minutes, oops)
both oldies but goodies.
Oh I am SO intrigued by that book and its premise!! Thanks for mentioning it. Striving for perfection is so futile (yet we try). Thank you for the reminder that we owe ourselves grace.
it is SO good. It’s a hard book (in the sense that there are some moments of deep conviction and hard truths), but it is so full of wisdom and insight. Not to sound too launch-teamy, but you can check out the first chapter on the book website if you’d like to learn more! dancestandrun.com
Thanks for visiting, Paula! <3
don’t be minding the overtime… reminding us the the Lord is ever with us…that’s a goodly thing. 🙂 your FMF neighbour
Me too sister! Me too! I’m so glad God never leaves us or forsakes us. That God sees us as fully who God created us to be. I can’t wait to read this book. Sounds awesome. We’re neighbors at FMF this week.
Jordan, what a cool book recommend!
And don’t be cross with yourself for not leaving the house. Even when I could go out, sometimes I was there, too…I just got tired of having to scan for snipers and IEDs, and be laughed at because I could never come all the way back home.
Loved the videos!
And love YOU!
https://blessed-are-the-pure-of-heart.blogspot.com/2017/09/your-dying-spouse-365-i-live-impossible.html
I love this, “My seat’s already been saved.” That is rich and clever.
You and I had similar thoughts this week, eh?
Yesterday I wrote in my journal that I want to be so confident in Him that I can walk into a room filled with people who don’t like me and be able to keep my head up. May you and I both sense His love in a special way today.
Enjoyed your post! We have to keep that thought in mind–we have a place, we belong, we’re accepted by Jesus.
This sounds like a great book, Jordan! And I think we all share that longing to be fully loved and accepted just as we are. It is encouraging that although we’ll never find that perfect acceptance in people we can know it completely in Jesus. I enjoyed your post!
So much Yes and Amen!!! Our identity, value, and worth come FIRST from Him… when we know beyond a shadow of a doubt who and Whose we are… when we learn to accept ourselves only because we know He already does, it’s THAT confidence that can so often attract the lesser kind of acceptance that we think we want… but by then, we are already full and secure thanks to Him! Oh How He Loves Us!