five minute friday, jesus/ musings on faith

five minute friday (depend)

hola. not too chatty tonight– I’m only halfway upright and the heating pad has been my best friend all day (and not for my back this time… let’s just say being a girl sucks sometimes).

 

Anywhooo… this week’s word: Kate once again has good timing.

 

I hate depending on other people.

I’m a helper by nature. I like helping everyone else. But being helped? Not so much.

I was discussing this with a girlfriend over dinner last night. It’s hard for me to depend on people because I spent most of my childhood depending on myself for everything. I had a roof over my head and food and the basics… but love and support and comfort? Nope. So I got used to not getting that from others, thus not being willing to let people in enough that I can depend on them, lean on them in my times of need, let people help me or love me like I do them.

It’s hard to live life dependent only on yourself. it gets quite lonely and exhausting quite quickly.

Help is my word for 2017– I haven’t been super vocal about it, mainly because I’m still struggling through this whole letting people help me thing. Letting myself depend on other people is never going to be easy, but I’m getting better at it.

Last night I was reading in my A Moment to Breathe devotional from incourage (I’m on the launch team for it, releases next week!). The devotional got me right where it hurts:

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It legit made me cry.

I long for a community like this. One that asks the hard questions, that cuts right through the bull and the lying “i’m fine” answers and holds you in the hard stuff. I need this kind of friendship where people see you and know you and go to the throne room on your behalf when you can’t yourself.

But I have to let people in enough, I have to actually depend on people for this kind of relationship to happen.

Stop.


any others out there get this– and if so, how do you figure it out enough to find the community you can depend on?

 

This song has absolutely nothing to do with this post, it’s just one of my favorites (and what I was listening to as I wrote this). I love her voice.

6 thoughts on “five minute friday (depend)

  1. Oh Jordan, you are a gift! How are you and don’t give me the “I’m fine” answer, I k gut want to know how you truly are. I’m a helper by nature too. I want to help others too. I’m over in the 8 spot this week.

  2. Love the essay and the video!

    I never say, “I’m fine.” With me it’s always, “Good to go.”

    Letting people in to help has been hard, but circumstances made it necessary…and opened y eyes to a world of grace received, and one that I could give in my own acceptance of need.

  3. I’m on the launch team as well and what a blessing to be apart of it.

    May I just say, “Me, too!” to this post?! I identify with the helper “syndrome” that it has offended some people when they want to help me. “I’m fine” answer to ‘how are you’ have turned into “I’m doin'”. I feel as if most don’t really want to know and it is just part of a greeting habit. If I say, “I’m doin'” those who really want to know more will ask. (whether right or wrong)

  4. Jordan yes. I too have trouble with letting others help me, it sounds like for many similar reasons as you have. I long for relationship with other women but I often find more advice giving than compassion and support. It’s hard to do. I’ve been guilty of the same. Our humanness desires to be transparent, but when it comes down to it, our humanness prevents it too. Will we be hurt one more time? Yes we will. But God…yes. He is enough, but he also isn’t enough. He created us to need feet. To need human support, even when they hurt us.

    I decided a long time ago that I would not offer the “I’m fine” response. I will be gently honest. Not spilling myself to those that ask because I realize it’s just a greeting. If they desire to know more they can ask. I also try to pray right then (as the devo suggests), even if I write it out over social media or text.
    God bless you!

    I’m your FMF neighbor this week. My .com and .org are getting confused and I’m having trouble logging in on WP, lol. I write at mywritingplayground.com

  5. Oh girl… I ACHE for community! I grew up unable to depend on others and have found that the majority of the time that I have made myself transparently vulnerable and allowed myself to try, I was majorly let down. How do I compensate for this? I try to be the one who never fails, who never lets another fall, who saves the lives of everyone. Every. Single. Time… and when I need help? Crickets… But is this because of me, or them, or both? All of that to say, you’ve given me lots to consider… (and i LOVE your word!)

  6. I get what you’re saying here and I wish I had insight. I’m not sure why community is so hard to develop and hold onto. Praying today that the Lord eases both the physical and emotional pain, that you sense His goodness and love.

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