he knows.

This is a post in my 31 Days series. Don’t know what that means? Go here

I’m going off the grid with this one.

Not because I don’t like today’s 31 Days post prompt (Possible).

Mainly because yesterday was kind of wonderful and incredible and just what my soul needed to pull me from the depths.

The past few months have been so, so hard. Physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually. It’s been awful.

I was determined to make October better. I need October to be better. So I decided to take it into my own hands. Make plans. Spend money on experiences and things, spend time with people that know how to put life back into me, and ignore the ones that don’t.

It’s funny how when you make plans, and not only does God laugh– He shows up. In the craziest of ways.

And He reminds me just how much He knows. He knows what I’m dealing with, what I’m going through. And he’s going to love me through it. 

I just had to take the initiative and do something.

It’s funny. When I finally gave myself permission to grieve this season, when I finally talked about how sad and scared I was about the future, He swooped in and brought me comfort.

Last night, I went to my spontaneous Jon Foreman concert. I bought the tickets 30 hours before the show; it sold out soon after I got my ticket.

I was meant to be there. God knew that was where I needed to be. I just didn’t know it, until I decided to do something.

Got to the concert and befriended the girls in line in front of me– one of whom happened to be an English major. God is funny.

As I was waiting to get into the Mercy Lounge, a car with a friend pulled up. Right. in. front. of me.

God knew I needed to be there. He knew exactly what I needed, who I needed.

Jon sang the songs my heart needed to hear. Including songs I hadn’t heard in ages, yet magically apply to real life right now.

His words have always healed me–they’ve saved my life in a lot of ways. Seeing him perform them live (and singing along with him) was a completely healing experience for this season. My soul desperately needed this– I just didn’t know it.

Then, he ended the night with my favorite song. He had people write in requests and send them to the stage (somehow I was smart enough to bring paper!) and wrote in my song. It was his last song. I cried.

God knew exactly what my heart needed. And in the faintest of whisper, he somehow made it happen.

Life really is what happens when you’re busy making plans. Or in my case, when you’re busy stressing about plans falling apart.

It’s so funny the things you find out when you do less wishing and more asking, more doing.

Sometimes, life requires action. It requires initiative. Instead of sitting home and talking about needing community, or needing time away… I just did it.

I didn’t just wish for what I needed. I didn’t just ask for it, or pray about. I asked, I prayed- and then I  did what I felt like I needed to do. And, God showed up in that.

Sometimes my soul needs more than to just sit at home, wishing things were different. It needs me to actually do things to make life different.

He knows what I need better than I do. He knows me better than I do. And for that, my heart is full.

God works in mysterious ways– and some days, that’s the loveliest thing about knowing Him.

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